The Picture Perfect Plan

As graduation season has come and gone, I’ve had the privilege of watching some of my closest friends run off to college and chase their dreams. The pain of saying goodbye is tough, but it’s one that symbolizes new beginnings, a fresh chapter in our stories that will be cemented into our legacies forever. However, my time to dwell on the absence of my brothers was cut short. Simply because I wasn’t far behind them.

At the time I’m writing this, I have completed my first month of summer workouts at Kennesaw State. I’m in the process of moving into my new apartment while also trying to manage my newly loaded schedule. While living alone and being exposed to college life has already been quite the experience, the thought of shifting into adulthood and leaving high school behind still doesn’t feel right. And there’s one lesson in particular I’ve found myself battling over the last month.

In less than fifty days, college will officially begin. And as my first collegiate game gets closer and closer, the intensity continues to ramp up. I’m forced to focus now more than ever. I have to make sacrifices that others don’t. And more importantly, I’m doing all this while also trying to take care of myself. Yes, it seems like a tall order, and I would be lying if I said otherwise. But despite the early mornings and late evenings I’ve willingly committed to, I’m also trying to make the most of my free time.

My friends and I will be splitting up and going to different places for school. So, understandably, I’ve tried to take advantage of my summer as much as possible. I go home on weekends and sometimes during the week as well. I try to be around my people as often as I can while the clock continues to count down. And what I’ve found is that, despite the distance between us becoming slightly greater, our relationships have stayed the same. And I’m confident it will continue to be like this for a long time. So, yes, I am very grateful to have the friends and family that I have. The time I get to spend with them is something I value more than almost anything else.

However, when I’m not training for the upcoming season or commuting back home, I’m here in my apartment alone. Which, unlike many, is exactly what I wanted. I purposely got my own place because I love the feeling of having my own space. But what I’ve noticed very early on is it gives me plenty of opportunities to spend time in my thoughts. And while I’ve gotten much better at keeping myself from spiraling, I still have moments when I sit and reflect on the life I’ve created. And while I’m very excited and extremely blessed to be in this position, there’s one thought in particular that has circulated quite a bit. “What in the world am I doing here?”

What I’ve realized is the things we ask for are usually the most daunting. I’ve prayed countless times for this opportunity. I’ve spent hundreds of hours working towards my dream. And now it lies at my feet, waiting to be picked up. And sometimes I can’t do anything more than watch as it glistens in front of me. Not because I don’t want to take action, but because a small part of me doesn’t believe I’m ready. As if I can hardly imagine I’m actually here.

In these moments, doubt is usually one of the first emotions to creep into my mind. I find myself wondering what exactly led me to where I am, and why I chose to be in this position. Did I make the right choice? Am I really doing what I want to do? And if so, then why aren’t I more excited about it? Why am I worrying?

What’s ironic is, I actually know the answer to my problem. I know exactly why I’ve felt the way I have and how to combat it. But obviously, it’s much easier said than done. And honestly, if I could make this issue disappear, I probably wouldn’t be writing about it right now.

The answer I’ve concluded is that I’m young. Both literally and metaphorically. Yes, I am a teenager, but I’m also inexperienced. I’ve never lived alone. I’ve never played college football before. So, reasonably, it’s pretty easy to get mixed up in feelings of doubt and anxiety. I’m just a kid, growing and learning as the days move forward. But even so, I’m experiencing something that will never go away. No matter how old and wise I become, these feelings of uncertainty will forever be a part of life. And many people don’t truly know why that is.

In the Bible, we learn about the story of King Joseph. In summary, God shows Joseph visions of great power, wealth, and prosperity. It’s in Joseph’s dream where he sees himself ruling over his friends and family and being showered with great fortune. However, what God doesn’t show Joseph is the path that leads him to his destination. Joseph goes on to endure many great hardships before reaching the throne, testing his faith and strength. But ultimately, it’s the adversity that Joseph faces that prepares him for his destiny.

Had God shown Joseph the path he would need to take to reach the throne, would he still have chosen to follow it? In all honesty, I don’t think it’s a guarantee. Why would we put ourselves through years of torture in search of something that may never happen? Is it worth weaving our way through struggle in exchange for a maybe? To me, the answer is simple. But it’s also because my reality is different. Simply because “maybe” isn’t an option.

Every dream that exceeds what we want in life is daunting. It’s supposed to be. The closer our dreams get to becoming reality, the more we tend to worry about losing what we’ve built. Pressure becomes a variable, and we may struggle to adapt to our new environment. But if true success took basic effort, then success wouldn’t truly exist. It’s the path we take to the top that transforms us into who we are meant to be, not success. But if we knew how hard our paths truly were, then how committed would we be to the journey? The true answer is hardly. Yes, it’s easy to claim we will do what it takes to reach the top. But if we actually knew what stood in our way, how long would the fire continue to burn? If we can’t see ourselves making it through day one, then how can we expect to make it through the dark days that are still likely to come?

The moment we decide to commit to faith is the day our journey truly begins. We must walk in humble confidence knowing our victories are already set in stone. It’s just a matter of how we will get there. It’s completely okay to be uncertain about the future. It’s okay to not have all the answers. And no matter what situation we find ourselves in, the beginning will always be stressful. Simply because we aren’t used to it. But once we open our arms to adversity and use it as a chance to grow, then the challenges become blessings. We must not worry about what is still to come. Because if we can’t focus on the present, then we can’t take advantage of our opportunities. The past brought a mixture of hardships and blessings. The future will bring more of the same. But the present is where we get paid. So, stop stressing about how far you have to go. I promise you, you’re almost there.

What I’m trying to teach you is the power of faith. Faith in knowing that all things do indeed work out. It may take time to realize this, but you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Because you’d be somewhere completely different otherwise. And the truth is that real joy lies in the mystery of what’s to come. Getting the chance to chase what we want is the exciting part. Yes, fate does exist. But if you continue to view your future as a coin toss, then you’ll only set yourself up to fail. Your destination is built by your present actions. It’s not up to your future self, because the way you view your future is different from what’s actually meant to come. You can’t predict how you will handle something down the road. Nor can you rely on the chance that you’ll eventually build up the courage to take a risk. Because before you know it, your time will have come and gone. And the only thing you’ll be left with is regret.

So, yes, this new season of my life has been strange. It’s brought a mixture of difficulties and excitement. But I’ve been able to find my peace because I have faith. I trust my capabilities. And I trust that God is leading me in the right direction. And at the end of the day, that’s all I need to be successful. Everything else is already taken care of. All that’s left for me to do is work. And no matter what comes my way, I know I’ll eventually make it to the other side. Simply because I trust the plan. The picture, perfect plan. God’s plan.

E.C. Ronning