Peace vs. Perfection

We are often told there is no such thing as “perfection”. Achieving it is impossible, and no matter how hard we strive to be perfect, we’ll always come up short. It doesn’t matter what the task at hand is. Whether we are trying to master the arts or become the best possible version of ourselves, we will always be bound to the inevitable mistakes of life.

However, even when we’re aware of this, we still believe there’s a path that leads to perfection. We sacrifice our time, energy, and relationships to go all in on an unreachable level of success. And then, when it seems as if we’re just a few steps away from breaking through into something unheard of, the world humbles us, and we find ourselves back at square one. It’s a repetitive cycle that has millions of people by the throat. One that is unforgiving and dangerous. One that comes with a hefty price. The price of our peace.

I would never try to persuade anyone to take their foot off the gas and get comfortable. I believe we should always be doing the opposite. Personally, I’ve dedicated years to my lifelong goals and dreams. While it’s been difficult, it’s also been very rewarding. However, like many others, I’ve also been consumed by the stress of trying to push beyond limitations. It may seem like we’re simply exceeding our comfort zone, but the more we indulge in improvement, the more blind we become to the pursuit of perfection.

The pursuit of the life we desire is tricky. It’s full of ups and downs and can hold major complications. But that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Life is meant to challenge us to work hard and strive for the best. Sometimes, we must sacrifice certain things in order to step into new opportunities. We also must be willing to give up our rest and free time and commit to the grind of consistency. It can be a tall order, but it’s the price we pay to reach our full potential. It’s a hard but extremely rewarding process. The choice we make to focus on ourselves and claim what belongs to us is what life is all about.

But I would also argue that these choices can come with a tax. If we are too focused on what’s in front of us and ignore our peripheral vision, then we are bound to miss some things along the way. When we become obsessed with the results and floor the gas pedal, we risk leaving behind the two most important things in our lives. Our peace and happiness.

Let’s consider the following scenario. A man comes home from his nine to five job, frustrated with the life he’s living. He feels empty and even feels he has let himself down. The man thinks to himself, “If only I could have everything I ever wanted. If only I could live like everyone else.” Before going to sleep, he looks in the mirror and decides he’s done letting life dictate who he is. Newly motivated, he makes the conscious decision to go all in on his dream. He quits his job, starts a diet, and puts all his energy into becoming the best version of himself. He stops going out with friends and, instead, stays home and becomes hooked on the feeling of progression. The man is now consumed by the idea of achieving what he thinks will bring him happiness.

Over the next few months, he sees tremendous results. However, for him, this is only the beginning. He still has far to climb before he gets what he wants. Over time, he finds himself further and further down the path that, supposedly, leads to prosperity. Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that he is now drawing himself away from real happiness. His extreme, die-hard attitude to life has sucked away his energy, created distance between him and the people he loves, and has stacked mountains of pressure onto his shoulders. The journey is no longer about living. It’s now about survival. The stress has become too much, and he is back to square one. He’s made progress towards his goals, but he is further than ever from finding happiness and has completely lost his peace of mind.

So many of us strive to achieve our dreams and wind up chasing perfection. While there’s nothing wrong with setting goals and improving our character, perhaps there is a boundary that shouldn’t be crossed. When it comes to searching for our version of greatness, is it worth leaving behind what brings us peace? My answer is no. I believe if peace and happiness aren’t part of the journey, then we’re heading in the wrong direction.

The reason perfectionists become addicted to progression is because they never allow themselves to feel satisfied. Chasing our dreams doesn’t mean pushing ourselves beyond our limits. Nor does it mean trying to keep a perfect track record. In fact, allowing ourselves to breathe and be okay with mistakes takes away some of the pressure. Growth does not come from suffocating ourselves under the expectation that we need to be flawless. In fact, the higher the expectations we have for ourselves, the more stressed we become when things don’t go our way. Perhaps, instead of holding ourselves to an unattainable standard, we should allow ourselves to strive for our goals with an open mind. And the only way we can achieve that is by understanding that perfection truly is out of reach.

When we choose to commit to the pursuit of our dreams, we are stepping into uncharted territory. There will be twists and turns we aren’t ready for. There will be moments when we feel like giving up, and there will be moments when we think life is against us. However, we will never be able to hold onto our peace if we allow these feelings to consume us.  If we continually beat ourselves up because we’ve failed, then we are only setting ourselves up to fail once more.

There is nothing wrong with pushing ourselves to be better. And there is nothing wrong with being disappointed when things don’t work out. However, choosing to drown ourselves in the idea of an unachievable phenomenon will never be worth losing our spirit. It isn’t worth distancing ourselves from the people we care about. It also isn’t worth asking them to share the burden of anxiety we’ve placed on our own shoulders. It’s not worth the stress, tears, and constant feeling of being unfulfilled.

When we step into our journey with an open and accepting attitude, we give ourselves the ability to truly grow. It is then that we allow ourselves to stop worrying when things go wrong and start appreciating the things we’ve learned. We begin to adopt the patience necessary in order to reach prosperity. And most importantly, we allow our peace to remain untouched and unharmed.

In the end, it’s not about the result, it’s about how we get there. We are likely to take more away from the journey than the final product. The view from the top of the mountain may be nice, but the opportunity to climb it is the most important part. Yes, we are going to struggle. Yes, things will be complicated. But when we decide to reach for the next step, we must be careful about what we sacrifice. If we cross boundaries and give up more than we will receive, then will we really be fulfilled once we make it to the finish line? The honest answer is probably not. If we lose more than we gain, then what is there to really celebrate? Sure, we accomplished what we set out to do. But if all we did was kill our happiness along the way, then what did we really accomplish?

To wrap this up, I have a simple question for you. Are you currently pursuing perfection? It might not seem like you are, but I advise you to take a step back and look at your surroundings. If you find you aren’t enjoying the path to the finish line, then maybe you need to reassess the road you’re taking. No matter how badly you want to succeed, whatever you’re chasing isn’t worth throwing everything else away. There’s no doubt sacrifice is necessary in order to be successful. However, there is a difference between betting on yourself and changing who you are for the chance to be perfect. If there is no scenario where you can be at peace and live how you desire simultaneously, then maybe you are looking through the wrong lens. The visions God gifted you are meant to direct you towards the best version of yourself. They aren’t an escape from reality that will magically fix your problems. If you aren’t happy with the way you’re living now, then there’s a decent chance you won’t be happy when things are different.

If you can’t find contentment in your current situation, then are you really ready to step into the next chapter of your life? It’s a battle that many people are fighting today. A battle of peace vs. perfection. However, you have total control over which side you choose. Whatever uphill struggle you find yourself in, there will always be one thing to remember. You will never be able to unlock your full potential if you leave your peace of mind behind.

 

E.C. Ronning